Moving to fast..

I look away for one second and everything seems to be moving entirely too fast.  This post is going to probably be a bunch of bullshit that no one wants to read -- more like venting -- than anything.  But honestly, as I am sitting here in front of an empty fountain in the middle of campus, I think to myself why can't things just go right for one time in my life.  Everything goes right for all of two weeks, if that.  And then once you get comfortable, life throws you one major curve ball.  Seriously I feel like I've been cursed since Sophomore year of High School.  I'm convinced.  I know that no one is perfect and that life isn't easy - but I feel like I need a break from life.  I need a break from controversy, accidents, deaths, liars, cheaters, and backstabbers.  I am about to crack.  I know it just makes me stronger in the end, but the ultimate question is - does that strength have concrete foundation or are there cracks beginning to form?  

I just wish people would be straight with me - that's all I ask.  And that things slowly wind down and someone throws me a damn fastball, rather than a change-up or curve.  Just throw me a true pitch.  Baseball runs in the family and I guess it's slowly catching on to me, with all my references to the game and all.

I attended the Women's Leadership Conference this past weekend, which I helped plan.  And I am no feminist, but I am so thankful for the leadership qualities evident in my life.  Without student council, UAB, WILD, LeaderShape, etc.. I would not be the person I am today.  I am so thankful that it has brought me this far, but  I just wish I could be met halfway.  I am sick and tired of having to deal with all of this pile of poop (to have proper French) whether it is school, relationships, family, work, etc. 

Earlier this weekend, while babysitting -- I thought what if I just started a family and built a new life for myself.  I can see myself cooking, cleaning, taking care of a few kids - but then I thought I have too much going for myself.  I have four interviews lined up this week and a kick ass (if I do say so myself) Marketing portfolio. 

I don't know maybe it's mother nature playing games with my emotions and what not, but that's how I've been feeling lately.


... & then I found five dollars.